One in the Hand, 10 in the Bush – 6/26/22

“Wakie, wakie,” came Kingsley’s voice drifting into our palatial tent promptly at 6:00AM as the same call was being made by Patrick for the tents on the other side of the compound.

Patrick and Kingsley had joined us as our local guides/drivers at the park entrance when we had transitioned from our bus to our bush vehicles. Kingsley is a second generation guide (we would meet his father, Peter, in passing on one of our game drives on another day). He is an exuberant man of tremendous knowledge, full of life and incredibly outgoing. As it turns out, his mother was the first black female guide in Zimbabwe. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree; in fact, I’d suggest that it got hung up in the branches. Patrick is a slightly older gentleman. My age in fact, to be more precise, which as I write this gives me some discomfort. He is a little more reserved, but exudes an air of quiet confidence that makes him seem at one with the bush, words spoken when necessary, but his silence commands attention. I wish we could have had a quote board for Patrick. The pair make a great combination.

I sort of rushed past the details of the camp in my last post, so let’s go back a bit shall we? The place we are staying at is a camp called Makalolo and is run beautifully by manager Patrick (a different Patrick) and Assistant Manager, Shumi. There are 4 chefs, Jerry and Jabulani, and 2 others that we only met in passing , and our primary waiter, Last. In addition, there are 4 housekeepers. These 4 gentleman are responsible for everything from the turndown service to the laundry service. Did I mention that we were in tents? Large animals roaming around? More outdoors than inside? And turndown service? We were searching for the term for this living, and I believe what Emily came up with was “rustic elegance.” The staff is on for 56 days then off for 14, like a cruise ship. But on land. With things that bite with only a layer of fabric separating you from them.

The way the park works is that Wilderness Safaris essentially has the “concession” to service the park’s camps and, as the case would be, OAT, our travel agency, is exclusive to Wilderness at Malakolo. Symbiosis. As an aside, there are no fences at the park and the only thing separating the game preserve from the hunting preserve are a set of narrow gauge railway tracks, so…

Anyhow, back to the day’s activities. I believe that I mentioned the bush baby in my earlier post. The temperatures have not improved. As Patrick says “Africa is the coldest continent with the hottest sun.” So we strap on the long johns, winter hat, and layers, and head to breakfast.

The pace moves quickly, and after a half hour of omelettes and bush tea, we load back into the trucks to head out on our first official game drive. Now I have to be honest here about my ignorance. In my head I kept hearing game drive and imagined a cattle drive. I knew that couldn’t be right, but I didn’t want to say anything lest I sounded stupid. A game drive is literally driving around looking for and at game animals. I’m an idiot.

Nevertheless, off we went into the heart of the park, looking for more birds and whatever else we could find. We rumble off with blankets on our laps, looking like retirees on a New England porch, except clipping along on a sandy road at 20 MPH.

In the sequence of the four photos above you can see the lionesses hunting the zebras. They couldn’t care less that we, and a couple of individual tourists were watching it all go down. Apparently, the brass ring of a safari is to watch a kill. The lone lioness waits. Waits. The zebras approach the water. You can cut the tension with a knife.

The elephant in the background approaches. The lioness jumps the gun, charges the zebras but from too far away, giving the zebras enough time to run and prevent her from closing the gap. Zebras, 1, lions, 0.

So, they say that an elephant never forgets. I’m not sure why, but that’s what they say. Cape Buffalo, they say, never forgive. There is a very good reason for this, evidently. If a lion, or a human for that matter, attacks a Cape Buffalo, nicknamed the Black Devil, and doesn’t kill it, the buffalo will hunt them down and kill them. Yeesh. That’s some dark stuff, Nature.

Other fun animal facts. Hyenas have a significantly high amount of hydrochloric acid in their stomachs so that they can digest bones and their bite is three times stronger than that of a crocodile. And, now don’t giggle my more juvenile friends, but the females have a pseudo-penis that is used for asserting dominance.

So that was the morning. Yes, just the morning. Time to head back to the camp for brunch and a rest.

We headed back out at about 4pm for the evening drive. As a side note, I would like someone to tell me why the Toyota Hilux is not available in the United States. I love these things! They are tough as nails! I can tell you that the ride is not exactly smooth. It, in fact, has its own name. The African Massage. It’s more like the African core work out. Or paint can shaker.

In fun news, Shumi joined us for the afternoon drive. She is new to the camp, not that you could tell from her performance over the past 18 hours. That said, she was like a kid in a candy store out on the drive, just all smiles. We loved having her join us as an honorary Ziac!

Another interesting note about the park. Some of the watering holes are fed by solar powered deep water wells. I have to admit that for a hot minute I thought this might be cheating a little and then I thought well, the climate has changed to a shorter rainy season, why not give the animals a bit of a hand.

The bush life is full of traditions. I neglected to mention that at 3 PM we had afternoon high tea. That is pretty nice. What is also pretty nice is the sundowner tradition. We’d call it happy hour. Their version is significantly more scenic.

Also at this spot is the lavatory, also called the “Green Bush” or the “Bushy Bush” or as Papa called it “Pee Rock.” The Loo with the View. If you need to use toilet paper, you need to bring your Cocky Bag. Carry in, carry out. The paper, not anything else. I can assure that there is dung absolutely everywhere.

We packed up and headed back to the camp for another brilliant meal and some quiet conversation by the campfire before calling it a night.